Sauna Stranger Danger

I absolutely despise interacting with people at the gym. I go to the gym to sweat profusely and pretend to work out. I'm not there to socialize. The folks that DO visit the gym to socialize are always in immaculate shape. It makes me wonder how they got into such great shape if all they do is exercise their mouths.

God made headphones for reason. As we all know if someone has their earbuds in it's the international sign that they do not want to talk. I was in the sauna the other day and encountered a gentleman who was unfamiliar with these rules of engagement. Dude was just dying to talk as we sat there in the dry heat. I took a chance, pulled off my headphones and started chatting him up about the most harmless topic on the face of the planet. The weather. This fellow must've taken this as his queue to start rambling about all his various fetishes. Let's just say I've learned my lesson. Keep your headphones on kids. -Soss

McSoss Podcast Episode 149: Triple Homicide: Nuisance

This week we react to the X-Men: Apocalypse and do a little Whatcha Been Readin.

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Career Paths

This is a true story. In high school I worked at a combo KFC/Taco Bell (yes, it was as glorious as you'd imagine; yes, the mashed potato taco was a work of pure art) and management didn't think it was a good idea putting me in the chicken suit in front of the store. I'd love to think I'd have been a great bombastic chicken – both attracting customers and scaring a few off, but ultimately, I know my apathetic teenage-self would have gotten out there and not used the position to its full potential.

Everyone should work at a fast food restaurant for at least a week. It gives an important, invaluable perspective on life. There are other menial labor jobs that teach similar lessons, but until you're soaked from the belly button down, mopping floors, smelling like fried chicken and eating Little Bucket Parfaits in the walk-in cooler at 2:30 in the morning, you haven't lived. Not. Even. Close.

To those of you that have been in the trenches, I salute you. To those that haven't, don't you DARE go into a fast food joint with under 30 minutes til close. I guarantee your order will have a special surprise in it. I meant spit, not semen. Don't be gross.

-Gint

 

Gint's 4-20-16 Pull-List Review

Another lonely one-book Pull-List week, so you're getting a second one just cause it was on my stack of books and I wanna talk about it. You're welcome.

Second Place:

Outcast #1

Now, this book wasn't a specific Pull-List buy. It came free with my last trade paperback of The Walking Dead to drum up sales of the Outcast comic, and hype the new series coming to Cinemax. The long and short of it is: I'll check out the Cinemax series, but I won't be buying the comic.

But, Gint... WHY? Its by God's latest gift to comics and television Robert Kirkman! Well, because it was just okay. I like the premise enough – some guy in a small town lost his girlfriend (and I think kid) to demonic possession years earlier, and has a special ability to banish demons... I think? So an old priest pulls him out of retirement (being a depressed loner) to help fight the good fight.

The problem is I hate the main character Kyle. Granted, this is probably part of Kirkman's storyarc for him, but I need to like him first to get invested in his journey. His sister and this priest try to help him, and he's kind of just a dick the whole time. Well, then just go be a dick, asshole!

Looks like Patrick Fugit (the kid from Almost Famous) has been cast as Kyle. I've seen him in couple things and like him well enough. Lets hope he's got more charisma than the character Kirkman writes in this book.

First Place:

Captain Canuck #8

I really like Bluefox. I really like Bluefox even more since apparently Laura Vandevoort has been cast as her at some point. At least that's what the variant cover would lead you to believe. You never see her out of costume in the comic though. She could be hideous. But its more likely she's hot considering Kalman Andrasofszky and Leonard Kirk play her off Captain Canuck like Catwoman off Batman. And that's no slight. Its a proven dynamic that adds an extra layer to Canuck himself.

Also interesting is the way Captain Canuck is almost a co-lead book by Canuck and his brother Michael. Most superhero's are orphans with no family, so its a really cool change-up to see actual brother's fighting together on the same side, though with different motivations.

Jumping on board this book has been a real thrill since I don't know anything about Captain Canuck. I know he has a long history in comics, but I've never read anything. Being able to jump on Andrasofszky's run, with new eyes, being able to read this universe for the first time has been pretty neat.

Panel of the Week:

Need to see more of this relationship. Art by Leonard Kirk and Irma Kniivila.

-Gint
    

Homecumming

Can I be honest with you guys? I have a secret, but I feel like we're good friends and you won't judge me too harshly. I'm not all that excited about the new Spider-Man movie. Maybe it has something to do with Sony's mediocre effort a few years ago. It also could be all of the other high-quality genre films on the schedule. With Marvel Studios in high gear, Disney cranking out Star Wars films and the DC Universe finally joining the party, it's not enough to simply be another Spider-Man film. It needs to be a GOOD Spider-Man film. 

I am excited to see him fight alongside all the familiar Marvel heroes in Captain America: Civil War but I honestly just don't know what another solo Spider-Man film could possibly do different.

Just this week they announced that Robert Downey, Jr. will be in this upcoming movie. That's a very positive sign. The more these solo Spider-Man films are woven into the fabric of the greater Marvel Cinematic Universe the better. -Soss

McSoss Podcast Episode 148: Fidel Slott

This week we preview DC’s Rebirth.

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Not Our First Rodeo

Often I ask myself, "Gint, are you at the advanced comic-reading age that you can no longer appreciate new ideas? Are you stuck in the early 2000's DC Universe and treat anything else as an abomination?" Often the answer is "yes." But that's because shit like Clark Kent and Lois Lane's son Jonathan Kent being Superboy is fucking retarded.

You know what else is retarded? The new Wally West. Wally West has an insanely large fan-following. I bet the majority of comic readers would prefer the old white/red-haired Wally even over Barry Allen. Even hardcore Barry-ites would be like, "I'm alright with that." Everyone's favorite Flash (Grant Gustin) is already an amalgam of Barry and Wally. So quit fucking with Wally and just MAKE WALLY!

And then there's the seriously dumb shit like making Superman's boots the same color as the rest of his costume. Make the boots red, assholes! It breaks up the look and balances out the color scheme. Its more visually interesting! That's not advanced comic-reading age curmudgeonlyness either, that's just fucking design fact.

We'll be recording the DC Rebirth preview episode of the podcast tonight and I'm already getting myself worked up. Common sense tells me I shouldn't have tequila so early. But the heart wants what the heart wants. Bottoms up!

-Gint

Ps - I self-indulgently reminded myself of one of my favorite movies and favorite quotes from said movie: the juice is worth the squeeze.

Gint's 4-13-16 Pull-List Review

We got one entry on the Pull-List this week, so lets get right to it.

First Place:

Darth Vader #19

Truth be told, if there were any other books on the Pull-List, this wouldn't be First Place. This arc about Shu-Torun has been a complete dud. There are definitely some interesting bits –  like Triple Zero wanting to use human blood to augment a battalion of Battle Droids, but over all this arc has been a snoozefest.

Between the boring rebellion on Shu-Torun and Cylo's lame not-quite-Sith flunky's, there's no interesting characters to get invested in. Since Dr. Aphra has been taken out of the story, we're stuck watching Darth Vader be the Mayor of Mediocretown.

With the reintroduction of Inspector Thanoth being a thorn in Vader's side, there's a glimmer of hope that this next arc jumps into more exciting territory, like the first couple that really gave something to get excited about. Jason Aaron and Salvador Larroca have it in them, they just need to find it again.

Panel of the Week:

Vader saving someone else from lava. Until he kills her on he gets his info. Cold.

-Gint

 

Coincidence

After both viewings of Batman v Superman, I didn't have a problem with the fight stopping when Bruce realizes he and Clark's mothers share the same first name. I still don't have a HUGE problem with it, but wish it would have been handled better. But man is internet fandom hung up on it. As far as the flaws in Batman v Superman go, the handling of "Martha" shouldn't be high on the list. There's plenty of other missteps that attention should be focused on.

I would have preferred a more subtle way through the name for Bruce to come to terms with the realization that Clark is really as human as he is. OR, as my good buddy Justin explained, have Bruce actually MEET Martha Kent on the farm, have a sit-down with her and see where Clark came from. Not only seeing the humanity in Superman, but being reminded of the loving childhood he never had. Quiet, character-building moments like that are what was severely lacking from the movie.

As far as Voldemort and Harry Potter go, that would have been quite an abrupt end to that book series. I can hear Voldemort saying, "Now that we're friends, sorry about that Cedric Diggory boy."

-Gint

McSoss Podcast Episode 147: Chewie and the Young Toughs

This week we react to the new trailers for Rogue One: A Star Wars Story and Suicide Squad.

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Suburban Commando

I’m loving Jon Bernthal’s take on the Punisher on this season of Daredevil. There have been many versions over the years but none that really got to the heart of the character like this Netflix version. Frank Castle is a complex and layered hero. I think there is a part in all of us that can relate to the drastic measures that he eventually takes when his family is taken away from him. 

It seems like Marvel is going to move forward with a Netflix program dedicated to Frank Castle’s part of the world and I couldn’t be happier. I think the story of the Punisher is best told in the long form style that modern television has mastered. -Soss

Gint's 4-6-16 Pull-List Review

Its been a while since a comic book has blown my mind. This week is no different. That doesn't mean you shouldn't continue reading!

Second Place:
Justice League: Darkseid War Special #1

Unless Geoff Johns covers a couple things in the regular run of Justice League, some readers are going to be confused. There are a couple plot points that look like their going to be pretty important as The Darkseid War moves forward.

But overall? Eh. Seemed like we could have banged through this issue in a couple pages of the regular book. We get TONS of exposition about Grail and Myrina's backstory, and more exposition about what its like when your soul gets pulled into Power Ring's ring. Seemed like a lot of story to get to the big business of Steve Trevor being the lynch pin of Grail's plan and Cyborg getting Jessica Cruz out of the ring. See how easy that explanation was?

The art was solid. It was really nice seeing Ivan Reis do some Green Lantern-y things penciling the Jessica Cruz pages. Reis got help from Oscar Jimenez and Paul Pelletier and it all came together pretty smoothly. I haven't gotten a Reis book in a while and it was really refreshing to see his work.      

First Place:

Poe Dameron #1

$4.99 price tag aside, it was going to be hard to keep me away from a Charles Soule/Phil Noto joint. Chewbacca wasn't all that, but Noto's art was enough to make sure I read each issue. And Noto's on his game again here.

His likenesses of Oscar Issac and Carrie Fisher never waver. There is never any doubt who those characters are. If this was the publishing standard for actor likenesses, everyone else would be out of a job. As for the rest of the art, there was a brightness in Chewbacca that's lost here. We deal with a lot of dark locales and earth tones. But that's not necessarily Noto's fault.

Charles Soule writes an interesting story where we get to flesh out how Poe finds Lor San Tekka (Max von Sydow) at the beginning of The Force Awakens. Soule has a bit of leeway in writing most of the cast, but does a stellar job with General Leia Organa. With Noto's likeness, you can hear Carrie Fisher deliver each line.

Soule has some work to do ironing out the Poe bits since we don't have a lot to work with. Yeah, Poe is pretty jovial in The Force Awakens, but he comes off a little too jovial at times.

This was a cool book. Two creators at the top of their game giving us some new Star Wars before Episode VIII.

Panels of the Week:

Phil Noto – CRUSHING it.

-Gint
   

Whose Side Are You On?

One of my problems with Batman v Superman was the titular conflict. The final fight lacked the emotional weight of the source material it was loosely based off of – The Dark Knight Returns. It's really a no-brainer that the film did not have the same stakes as the graphic novel. Frank Miller's classic is billed as the "last" Batman story. It builds on decades of rich history between Gotham's protector and The Man of Tomorrow. Zack Snyder stuffed BvS with tons of stuff, but you simply can't create that type of history out of thin air. 

In Captain America: Civil War the ground work has already been laid out. The audience knows about Iron Man and Captain America. They know what makes these characters tick. They have seen the events that have shaped these heroes for almost a decade. To some folks Chris Evans IS Captain America. Robert Downey, Jr. IS Iron Man. All the hard work of making you deeply care about these characters is done. Now we just have to sit back, grab a handful of tissues and watch them duke it out for the last time. Right? 

On a side note, while I respect and love nacho cheese Doritos there is just something about cool ranch that reminds me of sleepovers and Sega Genesis. You really can't argue with either of those things. -Soss

A Noble Profession

Alfred Pennyworth has been a successful reinvention. Even through Michael Caine in Chris Nolan's Batman movies (are we calling that The Dark Knight trilogy?), Alfred has been the more refined, butlery version seen in Batman: The Animated Series. But the last few versions have been a little rougher around the edges, and it's worked really well.

Including Geoff Johns and Gary Frank's grizzled version in their Earth One books, Alfred has taken on a hardnosed, tough, more utilitarian demeanor that really fits with Batman's whole shebang. Sean Pertwee on Gotham, and Jeremy Irons in Batman v Superman are cool characters.

For the ups and downs that Gotham has had, Pertwee has always been brilliant. He walks a fine line of bending to Master Bruce's decisionmaking while also keeping young Bruce aware of who's really running the show. Pertwee's Alfred has made it believable that Bruce Wayne doesn't have to circle the globe learning fighting styles to come back and be Batman. He can learn everything as he goes from Alfred's extensive military training, and from living and learning on the streets of Gotham.

And for all the disappointments of Batman v Superman, Jeremy Irons stole the show. Like Alfred from The Animated Series, Irons is quick with a quip next to Ben Affleck's stoic Bruce. But unlike The Animated Series Alfred, Irons shows the weight he's carried by Bruce's side all these years. Even without a lot of screen time, Irons gave Alfred infinite depth.

I was going to use this space to compare how you can get a character so right like Alfred, with how you can get one so wrong with Jesse Eisenberg's Lex. But instead, let's just focus on the glut of riches we've gotten with so many great Alfred's.

I really didn't think I'd be pumping Alfred's tires so much when I sat down to write this.

-Gint
  

Gint's 3-30-16 Pull-List Review

A three-book week on the Pull-List is a rarity these days. Nice little cross-section of Marvel, Image and DC. A regular "Big 3" smorgasbord.

Third Place:

Darth Vader #18

The ol' bloom may be off the rose. Kieron Gillen was rocking and rolling like a champ but this latest arc is a snoozefest. Vader has been sent to squash a rebel uprising on some non-canon planet, and its just boring.

Star Wars stories have the ability to be good – sometimes. But mostly its just pointless stuff because if it doesn't happen in the movies, does it even count? This is a story that's trying to matter, but just doesn't have the weight of being something that I should care about.

I understand Vader's killdroids BT and Triple-Zero grate on the nerves of some hardcore Star Wars fans. Yeah, the idea of a murderous R2 and Threepio was silly at first too, and it still is, but something about the way they were written (or the way the other characters weren't) in this issue made them the most endearing.

Second Place:

Saga #35

I have a couple big takeaways from this issue. The first is that the trio of Marko, Alana and Prince Robot IV is great. If the entire book was just these three getting into trouble while Prince Robot is a salty dog the whole time, I'm in. He may be my new favorite character in the book.

The second takeaway is, when did Klara start speaking in mostly Wreath and broken English? Maybe I missed something along the way, but Klara used to be incredibly competent and put-together. But since the story took the time-jump ahead, she feels like a completely different character.

Like seeing The Will being a fat piece of shit, seeing this new version of Klara is disappointing. I understand needing to see a story and characters evolve, but I like the old Will and Klara. I'm hoping Brian K. Vaughan and Fiona Staples reset the table at some point and get us back to the versions of these characters that I loved.

First Place:

JLA #8

Everything mostly comes back together this issue, pulling all of the JLA into action except Hal, who's still somewhere in Krypton's past. I may have questioned Bryan Hitch's writing ability in the early going, but he really put all the pieces in place to dovetail in this issue.

There's still plenty of questions to answer of course. Superman seems to have been killed, Hal is still in the past, and Rao seems to have disappeared somewhere via the stones that took Hal and Barry.

I've been touting this book for a while. I'm thrilled to see Hitch will take over writing duties on Justice League when Rebirth kicks in. Unfortunately, it won't be this lineup. It'll include Jessica Cruz and Simon Baz, who I could really give two shits about. Until then, I'm going to continue to love this run.

Panels of the Week:

Really liked these panels of Triple-Zero activating some old battle droids.

-Gint

 

Whitefish

By now we've all seen Batman v Superman, right? Spoilers: there's no black people in it. Well, that's not entirely true. Laurence Fishburne plays Perry White, the underrated Joe Morton plays Silas Stone, and (I guess) Ray Fisher plays Cyborg's torso. That's about it. The DC Cinematic Universe is going a little light on their diversity.

As for Batman v Superman (you can listen to our extended review here), I'm afraid it has more in common with Green Lantern than Man of Steel, which I genuinely love. Green Lantern and Batman v Superman are all about cramming 10 lbs. of comic lore in a 2:40 movie, er... you get the analogy. Both movies are 50% things that gave me a woodson and 50% things that inverted my woodson. I appreciate what both movies were going for, but neither stuck the landing. And we know how people feel about Green Lantern.

Overall its pretty disappointing. I really wanted this movie to crush it and put DC on the cinematic map. Unfortunately, they're now the butt of tons of jokes and scathing reviews. Maybe DC just isn't meant to make good movies? I don't get why they can't look at The Flash and Supergirl and just do big budget versions of that.

What's galling to me (and I think I've mentioned it before) is that much like the Pittsburgh Penguins are wasting the prime of Sidney Crosby's career by mismanaging the lineup when he should be winning multiple Stanley Cups, DC and Warner Bros. have an amazing Superman in Henry Cavill and are wasting his natural charm and good humor by making him the angst king of Metropolis.

At least Laurence Fishburne knows how to bring some much needed levity to what's ultimately a dour movie.

-Gint

Ps I think the word "whitefish" is super gross.